Happy New Year!

First off, Happy New Year to everyone! I don't have any plans for tonight except to watch a movie with my awesome husband, and drink my tea. That's right I said it, tea. I have a few things I want to change in the coming year so here goes. 

1. No oil- I've struggled with this because I really like chips and salsa, and GF crackers both of which have oil. I'm going to make every effort to make 2013 an oil free year for me. I know after the cravings subside my body will thank me. 

2. Exercise- Over the last few weeks I've dropped off the gym going train, I need to get back on. Minimum of 3 times a week, 30mins a pop, that's the starting goal. I may need motivational help with this one. 

3. Food tracking honesty- This doesn't sound like a big one, but having that beer and not logging it or eating that popcorn and not logging it is why I haven't lost this last 5lbs. 

4. Drink less- I'm not talking about water here. I am going to strive to drink only on special occasions (date night, vacations, celebrations) and all in moderation. I've drank too much this year, and I'm choosing to drink less. This is going to be harder then is sounds since when the kids stress me out I grab a cider so cheers to making new habits. 

5. Care less- I know you are probably thinking this one is a weird one, but I worry about what my family eats. Most of that is probably because of the limited amount of food that I actually can eat. I'm going to try and make this year a cooking adventure. Worry less about what they are eating, cook what I want to cook and rekindle my love affair with food. 

6. Clean as I go- Instead of letting everything get so bad that I dedicate a whole day to nothing but cleaning, I've decided to clean as I go. Doing the dishes when they are dirtied. Picking up the downstairs a few times a day, so when it is messy it isn't, OMG I can't look at it messy. This way most of the time the house is clean. 

I think this is a pretty good list. I know it's a big one, and there is more that I would like to work on, but this is a good start. I'd like to adopt as the year goes on a more minimalist lifestyle. I'd like to see my family waste less, and enjoy more. I would like to feel like my life is more balanced. If the house is always picked up maybe I can make time to take Kaylee to the museums or to the park instead of spending all day stressing and cleaning or stressing about cleaning. Wake up everyday and be able to say that I'm going to make the very best of this day, because each day is a gift, that's why it's called the present :). 

I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year and the coming year brings everything you hope for. 

Food

One of the hardest parts about Celiac's is determining what is a trigger food *other* then gluten of course. When I was diagnosed it had gone so long undiagnosed that I couldn't eat soy, corn or brown rice, making eating a chore instead of an enjoyment. I'm to the point now where I'm trying to move past the anger and reach a level of contentment. This task is proving to be difficult. Try going to a restaurant and getting something without gluten, or animal products, most of the time you will find yourself ordering a salad with lemon wedges or steamed vegetables. Oh yeah, don't get anything with oil either so butter substitute is out as well. 

Over the last several weeks I've been angry, resentful and annoyed that everyone can eat things that I can't. I realized recently, well today really that I've been looking at this all wrong. I'm lucky! I know you are probably thinking that sounds insane, but I can still eat every vegetable out there (there are a lot) I don't have any allergies to fruits, nuts or beans. Which really leaves me with a complete, and super healthy diet. I've noticed that I no longer struggle with the number on the scale. It stays put goes up and down a few pounds but then levels back out. If I could stay away from the hard cider I'd probably lose over about 2 weeks 5 more pounds. I do like my cider though. I can drink coffee again, which I couldn't do while eating wheat/gluten. I can enjoy my cider now again without horrible heartburn. So really I'm one of the lucky ones because I know what's wrong and I've fixed it. I'm healthy now. I don't have cancer, acid reflux or any sort of immune system issue if I stay away from the allergen. 

See what I mean? I'm one of the lucky ones! It's hard to look at it that way when all one can think about is all the food that they miss, but really I did get lucky. I just have to focus on that and be thankful for what I do have and what I can eat :). 

Navigating

Trying to determine what I can and can't eat has been a frustrating experience.  Still no luck eating brown rice, corn or soy... but, I can eat liquid aminos which are soy based, so it's not all soy products. An issue that further complicates me trying to figure out what I can and can't eat. It's emotional, though it's hard to explain to someone why. For someone that doesn't deal with it everyday it's hard to put into word what dealing with it feels like. They have the freedom to go to a bagel shop, order their favorite one and slather it with cream cheese... I get to drool and wish I could do that. I never really realized how lucky I was being able to eat whatever I wanted, and now I can hardly eat anything. Walking into a grocery store sometimes is hard... I don't think anyone realizes how much of the shelves are stocked with things that contain gluten, or are animal based products. I can shop out of the produce section and the frozen vegetable section, sometimes if I'm lucky the organic section of the store (even then I have to read the label very very carefully). 

It's hard because a lot of the time that I say something about it, it comes across as whining. I'm really not trying to whine or complain, just express how it makes me feel. I think the most inconvenient part about all of my dietary restriction is convenience, there is nothing convenient about the way I have to eat now. Every meal I eat, I have to make and prepare ahead of time or wait to eat. There is no pop it in the microwave and it's done (unless I pre-made a soup or I'm warming up a previous meal) there is nothing else I can say about it except it sucks.