I have been trying to decide for quite sometime now if blogging will help me achieve a greater insight into my life and my own thoughts. Will it help me be more accountable for the choices I make and the things I say? I suppose it's possible it could, so I'm going to try it. I have been watching someone else achieve this same level of enlightenment through blogging everyday, and I'm curious if it will work for me or not, so here goes.
I woke up about 9:25am this morning, late for me, but it was my day to sleep in. Tomorrow is the kids first day of school and being it's my day to get up I figured I'd take advantage of my sleep time today. I had a couple cups of coffee, took a shower, and got dressed. I filled out some mundane paperwork for contact lens mail in rebates ($65.00 worth, so not chump change) and brewed a nice cup of lemongrass green tea. It's about 1:30pm, I've had a some pan cooked(no oil of course) zucchini and summer squash, a handful of fresh green beans(picked this morning from my garden) and a frozen fruit kabob that consisted of red grapes, green grapes and banana. I'm thinking for starting off my day my food choices have been decent. I'll probably finish out my day with a nice green smoothie. Back to the gym for me tomorrow after the kids get on the bus and mimosas have been consumed.
I did laundry yesterday 4 loads worth, so I don't need to do that today. Dishes like always need to be swapped around, but since it's early afternoon right now there is no immediate rush to get that chore done. I'm just enjoying the quiet right now. Two of the kids are upstairs probably rotting their brains out with the TV or Xbox, and it is possible one is reading a book. The third and smallest kid is on the couch next to the hubby watching her ipad and snacking on some rice cake thing (I don't even know what they are).
I may need a hobby, as the kids get older I'm finding I have less and less to occupy my time other then the normal cleaning(which I tire of doing), and drinking which I should do less of. I'm not entirely sure what I would do though. I don't like scrapbooking. I don't have the expendable income to pick up a project car. I can't afford childcare for the baby for me to go get a job. A couple weeks after the kids get situated in school, and the baby is used to them being gone I'll start her preschool program. I still have to order the stuff for that, but I'll do that once we get paid. Hopefully doing that with her will fill up a good deal of the extra time I have recently found myself with. It's kind of depressing having nothing to do, and not focus really. It's a lost feeling I can't really describe. I understand that I have 3 great kids that *could* take up my time. At this point though they have their own interests and stuff they like and want to do which most of the time doesn't involve Mom. At 13 and almost 11 I can't say I blame them. This brings me to my real problem, what on God's green earth am I going to do when they've all moved out? I know that's a little ways away, but I would rather have a plan then be blindsided when it actually happens. At this point I probably have enough free time that I could go back to school, but I have absolutely no desire to pay for education that who knows if I will ever put to good use. I hate wasting money.
My mother in-law keeps bringing up me doing some sort of cookbook since I am always adapting recipes making them completely oil free, plant based and gluten free. She keeps insisting there are other people out there with the issues that I have faced health wise that would get use out of that sort of book. I keep entertaining the idea, and maybe one day I will. In the meantime though I need something that will distract me from the ever growing temptation to slip down life's rabbit hole slump. I wonder if it is just human nature to feel lost at certain points in ones life, or if I am *different* in that respect.
4:35pm- Had a sliced up cucumber and used them as chips (they worked beautifully) to dip in salsa and consumed a sliced up green apple. I'm thinking it's time for more tea now.
I have split pea soup on the stove for the family for dinner tonight. My awesome hubby when he went out earlier brought home mimosa stuff for tomorrow morning after the kids leave for school. He is the best! I did get my tea, nice cup of green tea after my little snack. I think I'm ready for fall, hot tea and coffee have really been hitting the spot lately. I'm ready for sweatshirts, jeans and chilly mornings. Just like right before summer started I was ready for cool mornings with the promise of a hot afternoon.
